Wandering Remorse
by The Bone Lady
Summary: An angel passes judgement on Irina. Before this was written under my other SN Maheret.
1. He rose above Heavenly

Name: **Wandering Remorse**

Author**: The Bone Lady**

Summary: **Irina grieves over Laura as guilty memories plague her**. 

A/N: **This is my 3rd Alias fic. I hope you like it. I love Irina, I think she is the most complex and fascinating character on the show. I hope you enjoy this, and I hope I have written her well (just so you know now, I wrote her more umm…. soft and regretful then some others might, and yeah so she's different from how she's played on TV….by the way Lena Olin kicks ass) sorry about any errors, I suck at editing. **

Disclaimer**: I do not own alias, nor do I produce it. I sadly will never own Michael Vartan…but hey I can **

Dream can't I? 

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Wandering Remorse

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She sat still, eyes wandering the area. White crosses splayed far to the horizon, another reminder of the dead, _her _dead. Remorse quickly came while the memories of her regrets pattered through her mind. She wasn't supposed to become this. Not this monster. They told her she was helping communism through out the world, that she would be a hero. Hero's never betrayed, heroes don't lie, and heroes don't kill. It went against everything that was good. She could do everything but laugh at the irony of her very thoughts, they had told her that she was doing her job for the greater good. They _made _it good. Nihilism at it's best. While we're at why don't we thank god for Stalin? Oh wait we weren't supposed to believe in God. 

Her mind drifted back to what stood before her. His name was carved perfectly, the white of the cross still unstained. It stood perfectly straight, the honest image of God's symbol, pure and without fault. Her hands wandered over to the engraved name. Memories flooded her thoughts, but all she could do was try to shut out that day, that hour, and that second. He had cried out for his son's soul to be saved from this woman. "Please…." He looked up as she lifted the gun. "Let you save my son's innocence and soul from this spawn of Lucifer." He looked up at her. His once bright hazel eyes filled with darkness and many regrets. She knew she had to do her job, or else they might kill her child, her only happiness in life. Tears finally started spilling as she fell to the ground. Today was her day, the day she cried for her sins, and grieved for her loss of innocence. She didn't hear the sound of feet behind, she didn't see those green eyes stare in shock. This was not supposed to happen on _her day_ she thought. That same thought kept on wandering through her head as William Vaughn's only son appeared before her. Her wary eyes looked up to meet the eyes that truly hated her most. But a surprise came to her as he stepped forth, not angered hurried steps but slow fragile ones. Her vision blurred and suddenly the feeling of strong arms surrounded her. How could one man have so much compassion? But it wasn't until she heard his pure French pouring from his mouth that she realized what he was doing. He was trying to forgive her. He wanted her soul to be saved. More tears flooded her eyes, as she realized he had just answered her question. 

"Why…why don't you hate me?" Her raspy voice cried. 

He looked into her eyes, searching for the right words. Finally, he spoke. His words had no bitter resent, nor were they full of understanding. But they spoke so true and full of thought, that she knew, he could forgive. "Because I could never hate the mother of the woman I love, you created her. You gave me back what you had taken away. And for that I will forever be in you thanks. But only for that." Tremors wracked her body, as she felt the need for him to know what drove her to this point, what made her the way she was. Every person has a story…. and this was hers. 

TBC 

Ok this is probably going to be a 4 parter. Maybe, if I get some reviews, then most likely I will. 


	2. Let me judge my passing

A/N: Sorry it took so long and thanks to the one person who reviewed. Your AWESOME! Enjoy!

Every person had their own story. It was apart of life. And Irina would be damned if she didn't get her chance to tell it hers. He had stepped back now. His eyes haunted her as they bore through Irina. Finally the courage to tell her story came. She wasn't scared anymore of what anybody would think. This young man was here to listen and he would listen, for a very long time. 

"My mother came from a an old commune. She looked nothing like me. Her hair was dark, it was beautiful soft and wavy. Her eyes were blue, I called her mother sky because of that. She however was no mother. Her job always came first, it wasn't a noble profession but it was the only way that she could keep me alive. Scechzka, my mother, was a whore or at least that's what they lead me to perceive. She would bring home men and they would pay her several hundred marks and she was there lover for those hours. But that doesn't matter now does it? That isn't what set me to where I am? It was merely my beginning not my end." 

"When I was 15 when I fled Russia, it no longer held the promise that he gave us. I traveled through France, barely surviving on the French I knew. I knew that in France I would not be excepted well. A Russian, an axis power, and France an Allie power. At least I wasn't German. How intriguing people thought. A lot of times many thought I was a spy for the communist party seeking a revolution that wasn't wanted there. Eventually I knew that France had not place for me. So I moved on…I went to a place that I knew I would be able to blend in better, My English is much better then my French. So I went on a fairy across the channel and went to live in London." 

"In London I got a job as an nanny. My employer was Henry Tuchet. He had two children Marie and Edward. Both were relatively well mannered. Most of the time they kept to themselves, I just fed and clothed them. Mr. Tuchet provided room and board for me. For 5 years I lived there. My English greatly improved, and I read millions of books, beautiful books about the world and revolution. I also learned languages. Mr. Tuchet had hired a linguistics tutor for his children. I would stay in the room and learn Italian, Spanish or Latin with them. Eventually though the time passed to where the children no longer needed me. I wasn't too saddened by this. By that point in time I had earned enough money to live in my own flat, maybe even go to a proper school. But what I didn't realize was that this was not my "generous" employer's plan. When both Marie and Edward had left, Mr. Tuchet let me stay for a few days in his home. On the last day he told me something. I had always thought that he was a professor of Literature, he had always had various authors stay as guests in his house. But I was wrong."

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She walked into the tearoom, expecting to see Henry stepping about as he usually did when writer's block came. But no one was there. Unknown to her what do she simply sat, straightening her black skirt as she usually did when she was nervous. Mr. Tuchet had set up a meeting with her in the tearoom at 4. It was 5 past that time, and having someone late made her angry. She dazed around the room noting the new books that stood out from his collection of originals. She tried to busy herself by thinking of current events in the news. But none of them were interesting. 

It was now 10 past. Deciding she was going to no longer sit and stare into oblivion she moved to the bookshelf, examining the one of many new books Mr. Tuchet had collected**. The Perfect Murder **by Amelio Krosky. She had heard that name before but found no recollection of whom he was. She began to immerse herself in the book, finding it odd that such a kind man as Mr. Tuchet would be reading such a thing. 

A distraction came when she heard a floorboard creak, quickly shutting the book and turning around. There stood Henry, his thick black hair was slightly rumpled, and his skin looked sicklier pale then usual. 

"Hello Irina, how are you today?" He asked, though to her that greeting did not seem sincere. 

" I am fine, you scared me that's all, How are you? You look more pale then usual can I get you anything?" He looked at her with a strange eye, Irina looked back at him noticing his arm seeing many papers fumbled in his hand. 

"No nothing right now. I have something I would like to discuss with you." He stepped out, and out of his own clumsiness fell forward. The papers flew from out his hand. Irina quickly fell to the floor to collect the papers. Mr. Tuchet eyes widened as Irina settled her eyes on one askew letter. Orders to kill Marie Tuchet and Edward Tuchet were written, as well as orders for recruitment of Irina Derevko. 

"Out of interest of the KGB we believe that Marie and Edward Tuchet must be assassinated out of a forced n attachment towards a current field agent Mr. Henry Tuchet. It is given as an order that Mr. Tuchet kill his offspring out of protection for the KGB. We also believe that Mr. Tuchet must recruit an agent, We are lacking poorly in recruitment's and believe that it would be best that his easily educated Nanny, Irina Derevko would make a fine agent, and help our interest well. She being the Offspring of another former Agent Schezcka Derevko would be greatly respected if accepting the role of an agent of the KGB if she chooses not to accept this role orders are for her to be executed"

She read these words as realization hit. Mr. Henry Tuchet was not a Professor of Literature, Mr. Henry Tuchet was an agent for the KGB. She looked up, staring at the dark oblivion resting before her as Mr. Tuchet cocked his gun ready to aim at a moments notice. 

A/N: hope you liked it review please. Another chapter will be up soon

The Bone Lady


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